everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
