sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Randomize
