I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
