I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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