Having a random hookup so left but love u
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
