My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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