id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
