So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
