I feel great
I just peed on a car
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
jump out the window naked night went bad
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
