I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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