remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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