Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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