god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
