I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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