3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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