That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
