No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
