Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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