what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Randomize
