i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
