I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
