we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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