Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
