Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Randomize
