Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Are my feet made of real feet?
What a dumb baby whore.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
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