i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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