I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
