I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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