i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
