Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
This is my gift to your gina
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
