Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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