It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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