you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
