Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Randomize
