my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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