I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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