ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
This gyro tastes like lonliness
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
