she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
