Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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