i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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