I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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