I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
it was like his penis was on wheels.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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