i jhust puked up my retainher.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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