Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
