I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I look better un-naked...
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
third nipple confirmed
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Randomize
