the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Dick very happy bro
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
