do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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