wat bout pragnant strippers??
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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