too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
