I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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