It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
